World War III. Thanksgiving 2016 is here, and with it a raft of insane stories pulled from the week’s news, all designed to get your crazy uncle Joe absolutely apoplectic at the Thanksgiving Day table. Turkish F-16’s shoot down a Russian Su-24 Bomber and Syrian ‘rebels’ shoot down a rescue chopper with US provided TOW Missiles. Pass the dressing please. As ‘World War III’ trends on twitter, relax and set the table. According to the President, ISIS is ‘contained’ but we’re being warned to watch out for attacks this Thanksgiving on US and Europe and US citizens all over the world. Donald Trump has so frightened the so called ‘establishment wing’ of the Republican Party, they’ve started a ‘guerilla’ advertising campaign against him funded by … wait for it and drum roll please … supporters of Jeb Bush. Will anyone pay any attention to the republicans when they don’t have ‘The Donald’ to kick around anymore? Rimshot! Meanwhile there’s no shortage of nonsense on the democrat side of the fence either, with Hillary Clinton promising tax credits for people taking care of their parents, and Bernie Sanders suggesting, you know, more free stuff, by rounding up all the rich people and taking their money on Monday … when all that is spent by Wednesday, we’ll have to come up with another scapegoat. Are you going to eat those yams? Woodrow Wilson was a racist but since we can’t actually call a progressive a racist, leave Woodrow alone. And Andrew Jackson too. But Trump? It’s alright to call him repugnant and a racist, because he’s a republican, right? More mashed potatoes please. Numbers on the economy have been revised, and its going great, except for the oil glut, the 25 percent increase in your health insurance premiums and a big build up of inventories. Retail numbers are down because no one goes to the mall anymore. Really? To fix it, we need more focused and efficient government spending, cause we haven’t done that, right? How do I get out of here? Sponsored by X Government Trucks and Ryan Plumbing and Heating of Saint Paul. 

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